A boy washed up somewhere else...

A boy and a girl....

August 13, 2004 ..Friday…

Wish I could erase that night..

Thinking well, no im not wish erase the day

U say…. Hi how are you my name is …. / ….

U came from nowhere saying my …. was beautiful

Yeah my ….drive , yeah u could see my thoughts

One week after the first hi

The only thing that I could think was

I wanna come home erly..

Yeah that washed boy , found a cute little innocent star

And that time I used to shine

Oh how much of my shine I borrow to you by two years

We used to understand each other to inspire each other

But suddenly u catch all my shine

And we drag ours “hi” by more 3 years

Yeah 5 years ..long …five years

Till I realize now u can shine by yourself

Now im just a opaque star

But there’s one thing u need to know

When I allowed myself to see

You re not exactly like I thought u were

Im free..im free to think

To act , to see u never really care

I thought I can have you for ever like

U used to say…

I realized I have you by “tonight”

And nothing beyond that…

All that “euphoria”

Was just inside my head , inside your hair

Was just some kind of sad joke I guess..

but the only thing I really know is …

U didn’t know exactly

What u wanted that time

Even now I guess u don’t know yet..

Maybe u deny to yourself your real desires

Maybe u know what u want, what u like and don’t have guts to admit to yourself ..look inside your soul and stop lying to

Yourself… Stop pretending …find guts, be a man at least one time in your life…

Try really hard understand your soul and try be happy

Stop pretending cause I know ..u know u’re miserable.

U know u can reach all that things u secretly wish

But u know these things are not enough…

Cause u give up of yourself

U give up of love

Of happiness…stop deny what u feel.

Do a favor to yourself and for all that ppl around you…

Try to be happy …really happy

And stop pretending, cause when u do this ppl get hurt

And I honestly hope there’s no others beside me.

I know that I said that time , hey was the last time u will listen a word for me… anyway I doubt that u will read that

U re too busy for me now, anyway im saying… after fiver years talking to u I guess I have this right…right????

Anyway doesn’t matter what I think? Or it matters DEAR BELOVED FRIEND????

Hahahahaha no..doesn’t matter..

If matters u’d probably show some respect

But im not seeing this in the last..hum let me think…

Two years…

Now this little opaque star ..blows away..died

And a new fucking big bright star born…

And yeah when a star born she lost her past memories…

What means…we are done..

Well I even dunno if one day we were here for each other..

For sure I was but u don’t..

Anyway..now im not hurt anymore..

Yeah my hearth its healed now..

Please try to be happy ok???

Do what u need to do..

Stop pretend to yourself

It’s the worse lye in the world…

And my wish for you . . . . /. . . . is:

ALL THE LOVE FOR YOU ..ALL THE BEST ;)

And to celebrate the end of this blindness

i 'll put here the song i sang for you, cause now i can listen this song without hurt my soul...

rainin thursday...

Hi , its Thursday and its raining ..not a new ...

here its looking like the Malaysia..actually i think its rainin here more than

in Malaysia

I'm thinkin abt translate some of my poems

yesterday i did this with Fátima an old poem i wrote

abt drugs haha the funniest is i am a drug free person lol

funny how i can translate the feeling of one addicted person..

u know someone told me abt.

Guess the next poem i will translate is a long poem

called

"world poverty" but its not really abt what u re thinking, well kinda is..but not all abt this

i wrote in portuguese , so i will write in english and put the original video i did in portuguese disclaiming it...

Sorry if u find some language mistake here , i just learned english by my own. so feel free to tell me and i make corrections.Thank you...

I always say a song to u listen/see so the song of today is:

There you are with your perfect way
You've got that little shine in your eyes
To hear one word would make my day
But there's no room for me in your life

Oh! You've got me down on my knees
Oh! In my mind I can see
How perfect everything could be
But you won't give us a try

[chorus]
But if I could change your mind
How would you want me
Would you say you need me
Cause I need you now

I try to move on but your perfect way
Has got this little chind asking why
But this world keep sppining
As my heart stop beating
Is there still no room inside

Oh! You've got me down on my knees
Oh! In my mind I can see
How perfect everything could be
But you won't give us a try

[chorus]
But if I could change your mind
How would you want me
Would you say you need me
Cause I need you now

If I could change your mind
(please tell me, I'm not the only one)
(please help me believe, I'm not the only one)
If I could change your mind

But if I could change your mind
How would you want me
Would you say you need me
Cause I need you now

But if I could change your mind
How would you hold me
Would you stay forever
Or just leave me here to drown

If I could change your mind
(change your mind)
If I could change your mind
(change your mind)

Fátima = Zeus

Fatima = Zeus


Under cold and wet fog I struck my bitter and doubtful steps
Nose and cold feet, soft body almost kissing the asphalt.

The mouth asleep, burned and drugged biting the tongue, the blood flowing throbbing begging for more.

More, more than anything, the despair is real and inevitable.


The lack air, lungs hurt, my head spin spin spin and weights, pain ,despair, fatigue and the need is latent.


Veins bounce, seem to drop from within the muscles, it seems that tug, muscles at the same time contract and stretch, a movement so fast and uncontrollable that it feels like a thousand needles going in and out of your body simultaneously.

Cramps, chills are details compared the feeling of death, the constant danger and imminent persecution.

Contempt for life increases considerably. The voice of your conscience becomes absent, you suffer wildly ,resist sluggishly and again ... and again surrender easily.

Yeah Fátima is pretty convincing.

fátima its a brazilian nick name for cocaine...

Click here to learn abt the bad effects of drugs

Ephiphany ....

Sometimes is really hard recognized our emotions,
I was pretty good at doing this
But im not that good anymore…

I just can’t understand how someone
Can purposely hurt another person ???
Maybe the world change and im
Stuck in last century or maybe everything
Is normal now.

Maybe im to old to follow this new
Way of think , feel , act
Maybe I should stop trying understand
???? yeah maybe…like Cassidy say in his song..
Well maybe, this could be
The catalyst for my big ephiphany
Yeah the only difference is my catalyst
Was bad.. anyway no matter
The important its just the
Ephiphany in the end
…and…I m thinking here
Worst than get hurt its hurt yourself
And im sorry but this is not the game I like
To play ..

About the song i mentioned ..its here the name of artist

is cassidyhaley his twitter account is http://twitter.com/cassidyhaley

/span>